Like Mother Like Daughter

The last month or so has just been one steaming pile of crap on top of the last. I’ve found it really hard to have the motivation to post anything positive. And frankly, it is far too easy for people in my real life to come here and read this for me to be as honest as I’d like. So I haven’t felt much like posting. Until now.

The biggest thing the last few weeks is that my daughter has been sick. I’m not going to go into detail, she’s 15 and it’s really her business. But, long story short, we have no idea what’s wrong. There’s been a couple of trips to the local Children’s Hospital (not just one of the best in the state, but one of the best PERIOD) to see a specialist and for tests and there are more to come.

So far everything has come back normal. Which is great! But as all of us Spoonie and Chronic Babe types know, it’s frustrating as hell. She’s still having the same problems. She’s not getting better. We may have ruled a few things out, but we aren’t really any closer to having an answer. Without an answer, there’s nothing I can do to make her feel any better.

Teenager in hospital gown

My daughter is a medical gown fashionista

Worse still, this mystery is impacting her ability to go to school. It’s pretty much impossible for her to make it through a whole day of classes without needing some sort of break, or feeling like she’s going to be sick. Between that and missing classes to go for doctor’s appointments and tests, she’s missed a lot of class. Needless to say the school is not happy. Let’s just say we haven’t necessarily gotten a lot of care and support from those who are supposed to be interested in seeing her get through this and succeed in her classes.

The nurse at school has said she doesn’t know if my daughter is well enough to keep going to school. The doctors don’t seem all that prepared to say she’s sick enough to not go to school without having some idea what’s wrong with her. So I’ve spent the last week scrambling to find other options for finishing the school year. Thank goodness I’ve found a cyber school that will take her for the last quarter of the year and have started the enrollment process.

But it take takes time and most days I send my daughter to school in tears as she struggles to make it to the bus. I can see how awful she feels. I can pretty much predict when I’ll get the first call from the nurse’s office about coming to get her. And I’m pretty much helpless.

There are some signs pointing to the possibility of auto-immune disorders, meaning she’d be like me. Just the fact that she’s had some sort of reoccurring illness in 9th grade makes her a lot like me. The fact that we don’t know what’s wrong with her makes her even more like me.

I’m proud to say my daughter is like me in a lot of ways…We both love to play the flute. We love to be on stage. We can’t help but write, and we’re not horrible at it…The list goes on and on. The one way I didn’t want her or her sister to be like me is in the health department. I’ve known all along that the chances were pretty good that one of them would follow in my health footsteps, but I really hoped they wouldn’t.

I know that all of this is out of my hands, but it doesn’t stop me from worrying. It also doesn’t keep me from feeling incredibly stressed while I’m trying to stay on top of doctors appointments for both of us, and the 101 steaming other piles of crap that are still here and have little to nothing to do with anyone’s health.

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it’ll turn out that she’s not like me at all. At least that’s what I’m praying for.

Friday’s Guilty Pleasure – Girls’ Night IN!

For this week’s guilty pleasure I thought I would share something I’ve been doing with my girls for a long time. When my oldest was a toddler when would have Girls’ Night Out when Daddy had to work late on Fridays. It usually consisted of chicken nuggets at the food court and a stroll around the mall. When the youngest arrived and money got tighter it became Girls’ Afternoon Out with a snack somewhere. As time went on and I started to run out of energy we started doing Girls Night In.

Girls' Night In always involves nail polish at our house.

Girls’ Night In always involves nail polish at our house.

Girls’ Night In usually happens on nights when my husband (AKA: Daddy) isn’t home. It consists of things like mini pedicures, painting nails, and a special snack (sometimes it’s something already in the house dressed up with sprinkles or chocolate sauce). We keep an eye out for tubes of peel-off face masks (the girls love feeling it dry and peeling it off) to go on sale and we’ll add those.

Pink and green toe nails

The tiniest’s toes after Girl’s Night In.

The girls love it. They feel special and grown up. It’s nice to pamper yourself, and your kids. It’s a great chance to sit and talk to them, give them the attention they want. For them it’s a huge treat and they look forward to the nights the three of us spend together.

One of the best things about Girls’ Night In is that you can make it as guilty as you want. It doesn’t have to take a lot of energy or money.  After the initial investment in nail polish and masks there’s no real cost, just your time. But you can expand the indulgences and the menu as much as you want, which makes it a great guilty pleasure.

What guilty pleasure are you enjoying this week? Share below!

1st Day of Our Next New Beginning

School backpacks leaning against a door

We’re as ready as we can be for the start of our next new beginning.

Today is the start of our next new beginning. It’s the first day of school for the girls and the first day of work for my husband. The girls will be starting in new schools in a new state. My husband will working full-time for the first time in nearly 10 years, he’s mostly been a stay-at-home Dad since we moved to Virginia. For the first time I’m going to be the one in charge of getting the kids off to school and making sure homework gets done and everyone gets to where they need to be while I do freelance work from home. It’s a whole new world for all of us.

We’re all trying to act pretty confident, but I think it’s pretty safe to say we’re all a little scared. You know, I think that’s ok. It’s a pretty big change for all of us. New (old) state. New schools. New jobs. It’s a lot for anyone.

For a family that has unique circumstances, like chronic illness and a long stretch of unemployment, that much change seems like a bridge stretching over the Grand Canyon stretching out in front of you. You know all you need to do is take that first step, but it’s a doozy. There’s not a lot of choice but to move forward so you do. You just have to have faith that you’ll make it to the other side.

We’ll see what lies ahead. One way or another, I think we’ll be okay.

UPDATE:

Everyone got on their way with on mild panic. The bus forgot to pick up the oldest and we had to get that straightened out. Other than that everything went off without a hitch. Now it’s a matter of convincing myself to do start the ambitious list of things I made.

Teenager waiting with backpack as as car passes

My oldest waiting for the bus that forgot to pick her up. Great way to start the day.

Girl getting on yellow school bus.

This is first time she’ll be taking the bus to school (she used to walk to school), so this is VERY exciting.