You may remember me talking about my doctor’s appointment in the fall with one of the best rheumatologists in the area I just moved to. Not only that, she and the clinic are highly regarded and respected across the country. But just like any time I see a new doctor, I was anxious. Well it turned out I had an awful appointment.
She hadn’t read my whole file sent by my old doctor, it was too long. She asked me questions about what was in the file, then questioned my responses. She actually said the one thing a medical professional can say to upset me more than anything else, “What makes you think you have that?” (The response, because a Dr diagnosed it.) I really felt like I was defending myself the entire time I was in with her.
Then there was the whole pain thing. She wanted me to go a pain clinic and didn’t seem to understand that I was going to be losing my health insurance for several months And couldn’t get into a clinic before my insurance ran out. And because there are still problems I still haven’t gone because I can’t pay for it out of pocket. I also have no way of getting there if I could afford to go. Her suggestion when I called to say I couldn’t get an appointment? She told me the maximum over the counter Tylenol to take a day, get an appointment as soon as you can, good luck. (It felt like it was the first time in a long time someone accused me of being a drug addict – other doctor’s I’d seen, including those in the ER, were worried that I was under medicated.) That was September. I stretched the pain meds out I had as long as I could, but there have been sleepless nights, days I wanted to scream, and times where I literally pulled my hair out.
Now it’s time to go back. I’ve debated since I walked out of the office whether I should go back. My husband sided on find someone else. My family and friends said I should go back…she is one of the best after all. They had good points, she could have been having a bad day, or maybe she doesn’t have a great beside manner. I did some digging on-line and she has gotten rave reviews for her care and going above and beyond for patients.
Was it me? Did I somehow misinterpret the whole thing? Was she having a bad day? Was she more all business because it was the first appointment? Should I be this nervous and upset about even going to an appointment?
If I’m thinking that I’m getting to the point where I can’t work any more, I need to have a doctor on my side. If she’s not going to be on my side I need to find someone who is. I really don’t have the time or energy to go through this dance a bunch of times. I have certainly have no “God Complex” kind of thing when it comes to doctors – they are just humans and capable of making mistakes as the rest of us.
So I turn to you dear readers. My husband can’t go to the appointment with me. My Dad is going to drive me and it sounds like my step-mother who is a nurse may be coming so I’ll ask if she’d be comfortable coming in with me if she does. But what do you think? Suggestions? Words of encouragement? Advice?
I know to take my list of questions, I always have a notebook with me at appointments. I’ve been tracking symptoms through an app on my phone. So I know how to go to the appointment. I just need to know how to feel better and more confident about going.