Like Mother Like Daughter

The last month or so has just been one steaming pile of crap on top of the last. I’ve found it really hard to have the motivation to post anything positive. And frankly, it is far too easy for people in my real life to come here and read this for me to be as honest as I’d like. So I haven’t felt much like posting. Until now.

The biggest thing the last few weeks is that my daughter has been sick. I’m not going to go into detail, she’s 15 and it’s really her business. But, long story short, we have no idea what’s wrong. There’s been a couple of trips to the local Children’s Hospital (not just one of the best in the state, but one of the best PERIOD) to see a specialist and for tests and there are more to come.

So far everything has come back normal. Which is great! But as all of us Spoonie and Chronic Babe types know, it’s frustrating as hell. She’s still having the same problems. She’s not getting better. We may have ruled a few things out, but we aren’t really any closer to having an answer. Without an answer, there’s nothing I can do to make her feel any better.

Teenager in hospital gown

My daughter is a medical gown fashionista

Worse still, this mystery is impacting her ability to go to school. It’s pretty much impossible for her to make it through a whole day of classes without needing some sort of break, or feeling like she’s going to be sick. Between that and missing classes to go for doctor’s appointments and tests, she’s missed a lot of class. Needless to say the school is not happy. Let’s just say we haven’t necessarily gotten a lot of care and support from those who are supposed to be interested in seeing her get through this and succeed in her classes.

The nurse at school has said she doesn’t know if my daughter is well enough to keep going to school. The doctors don’t seem all that prepared to say she’s sick enough to not go to school without having some idea what’s wrong with her. So I’ve spent the last week scrambling to find other options for finishing the school year. Thank goodness I’ve found a cyber school that will take her for the last quarter of the year and have started the enrollment process.

But it take takes time and most days I send my daughter to school in tears as she struggles to make it to the bus. I can see how awful she feels. I can pretty much predict when I’ll get the first call from the nurse’s office about coming to get her. And I’m pretty much helpless.

There are some signs pointing to the possibility of auto-immune disorders, meaning she’d be like me. Just the fact that she’s had some sort of reoccurring illness in 9th grade makes her a lot like me. The fact that we don’t know what’s wrong with her makes her even more like me.

I’m proud to say my daughter is like me in a lot of ways…We both love to play the flute. We love to be on stage. We can’t help but write, and we’re not horrible at it…The list goes on and on. The one way I didn’t want her or her sister to be like me is in the health department. I’ve known all along that the chances were pretty good that one of them would follow in my health footsteps, but I really hoped they wouldn’t.

I know that all of this is out of my hands, but it doesn’t stop me from worrying. It also doesn’t keep me from feeling incredibly stressed while I’m trying to stay on top of doctors appointments for both of us, and the 101 steaming other piles of crap that are still here and have little to nothing to do with anyone’s health.

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it’ll turn out that she’s not like me at all. At least that’s what I’m praying for.


He Got the Job, But We’re All in it Together

My husband got the official call last night, he’s got the job! No idea on start date yet, but isn’t that amazing? Since neither of has worked since February it’s freaking spectacular! He hasn’t worked full-time in 9.5 years (he’s mostly been a stay-at-home dad) so it’s a little scary and nerve-wracking for all of us too.

But that’s ok. We keep telling the kids, and have since I lost my job, it’s alright to be worried, or scared, or angry. Mommy and Daddy are sometimes too. But as long as we stick together and lean on each other we’ll be ok. If we learned nothing else by leaving our hometown and moving to a different state it’s that we can stand on our own and depend on ourselves to get out of whatever mess we get into. Some sort of help may arrive eventually, maybe, more often than not it’s too little too late. But the four of us can get through anything as long as we talk things out, are as honest as possible and stay together.

And I have a feeling the changes aren’t over yet. The job is over an hour, and over a mountain, from where we just moved. Which isn’t horrible in August. But come a Pennsylvania winter in our ONLY car, a small engine Ford Focus, it gets more…complicated. I personally was in a car that spun out and ended up in a ditch at the very top of that mountain in a snowstorm late one Christmas Eve. It gets ugly fast up there.

Of course there’s more than one way over, or around any mountain. Or problem. There are short-term and long-term solutions. Like buying a second car, if we can find one we can afford. Or moving back to our hometown which, strangely enough, just so happens to be where his new job is located. Or any number of other possibilities yet to be thought up and explored.

Both are valid ideas with differing degrees of do-ability under the current circumstances. It’s going to mean taking some time as a family and talking. Figuring out together what’s best for all of us, we’re all in this together.